Doing hard things in relationships, how to do it in a loving way.

“But I believe in the spirit of all people. And I don’t think that people do things to hurt you, specifically.”  

How do we have the hard conversations with those we care about in a loving way?  

This podcast explores my struggle with being loving while saying something is not okay by me. As I work through this and I recognize again this is the work of boundary setting again…I talk about Brene Brown’s work and her talk about the Anatomy of Trust. She pens it with a lovely acronym we can all remember: B.R.A.V.I.N.G. The first letter, is my focus point, always: Boundary setting. I think it comes up in different ways to show me that the work here is never ever officially done. It is important to recognize that the more we grow and expand into who we are, the boundaries will be needed to held up by you.

The thing that anchors me in is when I realized this…. “It is not selfish to stick up for myself. To let others know that this is not okay.”

 

We must always remember that relationships are a dance. But sometimes you must take the lead and teach the other how to dance with you.We teach people how to treat us. And when you stop and think about how you are in relationships it is important to ask yourself: How am I showing or letting others know how to treat  me?

  

What are your thoughts on saying the hard things in relationships? How did you find a loving way?

Share in the comments!

When feeling rejected, can love be found?

HOW in the world does any of us get beyond feeling REJECTED?!

Well, it’s all about where the rejection originates. In this podcast I reflect on how and where it does originate in this one example, which is my own. What is key here is to ask:

Are you really being rejected or just feeling that way?

An important distinction to make.

Getting beyond the feeling takes time and giving it space. It is a process of healing. And you can almost never speed that up. Especially if it is a pattern in your life. But what can you do now?
You CAN do this one thing today, tomorrow and the day after that…you can see your way through it by understanding where you need to love yourself MORE. AND GIVE IT.

Lots of it, my friend.

 

Hey how did this episode hit ya?

Rejection is hard, and can feel lonely. So let’s not be lonely…connect with me by sharing what you are feeling on this topic? Find love here. <3

Got Twenty?

You are a busy woman. You can’t spare too much time between getting the kids off to school & managing your career or business. And even so, you are aware that the clock is running out on your vision. The vision of your life and how you want it. You want more EASE, feel MORE Confidence, and ready to make your move effortlessly.
You can feel it in your heart but haven’t found a way to make it happen. Probably because you feel you don’t have the time!

Time out & take TWENTY. Gift yourself twenty minutes & have a free call with me, a heart-whispering self-love coach. Come discover what IS possible by getting super clear on how to take the necessary action to get your vision up & running. Make Time your friend BEFORE its up

Episode #13: This is the biggest killer to your true self.

“There is freedom in breaking the molds. There is freedom in knowing who you truly are.”

In this podcast, I continue to explore the topic of self-worth. I bring up the one thing that seems to really kill our sense of self: Conformity! This automatic program which was installed at a very young age; the age we go to school.

I talk about my thoughts on when my child began school and how I can see it change her. It is the institution where you hear your teacher say things like, “No speaking out of turn.” “Stay in line.” This all is meant to control any chaos all the while using labels to categorize children into bad vs. good. Shaming children to conform to a social norms from the “leader” at the front of the room. This archaic institution…how does it still stand in this time of technological advancements? Maybe like me, you too struggle with this as a parent.

We’ve conformed in order to fit into a society that ultimately doesn’t include us women equally. Though a bit more than others I recognize. All this comes by making us swallow the poison of the worst distortion of womanhood…be a “good girl”. Now in my mid- 40’s I’ve been working on myself, & coaching others, to break from those poisonous conforms of society to allow for our true selves to shine. Hopefully allowing me to guide my daughter to not “FIT IN” but express from her truest self.

Conformity has led us to forget that we have our own voice. And it has created us to become insecure in relying on our own voices & hearts.

The truth about dust bunnies & self-worth.

While pushing the vacuum cleaner, lying on my belly, fighting an army of dust bunnies a thought occurred to me, “I would really love to have someone else do this for me.” Perhaps it was that particular fight or because it was the day before my birthday, but it is when this thought arose that led to me wondering, “Why haven’t I given this to myself?”

In this podcast I talk about self-worth in a way that I think we all go through. It isn’t a set or fixed thing. It is changeable according to circumstances, situations, and needful things. I think we don’t talk about self-worth in this way. Mostly because how many people do you know are willing to fess up and say, “My self-worth is really at an all time low.” Most of us want to self-preserve & protect our pride. And we protect our pride then we sacrifice a real conversation about how we value ourselves. What happens when you qualify things you want by asking “Do I need this?” Does this ultimately cut into your sense of self-worth over time?

This is an eye-opener in the practice of self-love.  It takes some humility, vulnerability, and awareness to see where you may be falling short. But once it is seen you can change it.

 

Is it time to take stock of your self-worth? Could it be getting in the way of what you truly want in your life?

Are you ready to change that?

If you are answering YES to these questions, then I would like to invite you to have a chat with me about it. It is my specialty to see you as you truly are & approach your concerns with an open and loving heart. I coach women to listen, trust and follow their hearts. If you are ready for a talk about what you want to bring into your life then please schedule 45 minutes with me.

Guided episode #11- Going deeper into the meaning of words

After a long break I’m back to share with you my renewed vision of Guided. It includes more discussion on what it means to be Guided. I hope to take us beyond the stories I’ve shared of others and open up a new conversation allowing us to dive into those mysterious places of intuition and “knowing”. 

This episode I discuss some buzz words that tend to be vague in the transformation biz.  Words (phrases) like “wanting more”, “purpose”, “true self”, “being present”. Words sometimes miss the fullness of an experience. I hope that this talk begins to bridge us from a meaning of a word from something logical to something that is experienced and felt. Words can sometimes fail us because of perceptions, belief systems and prejudices. When we talk about things like transformation it goes beyond words. 😉 

 

What do you think?

Do you know what it is to be fully present?

How do you describe being your True Self?

 
 

Guided Episode #10 – How I flourished when I stopped trying to fit in.

 

“Your first impression is your ONLY impression.” Petra Fisher, talking on your presence on LinkedIn.

 

Petra and I met a few years ago when I attended a great workshop of hers on LinkedIn.  At the event I really got a feel of who Petra is, and she does not disappoint. Fun, sarcastic and just straight-forward about the things that matter the most: YOU and bringing out who you REALLY are in your LinkedIn profile. You could say we have this, being true to yourself, in common.

During the interview she even makes me more aware of how I’m not showing up in my profile! YUP the interviewer becomes the interviewee.  I left it ALL of that in, including our funny false start. You see, it wouldn’t make sense to edit out what makes this truly authentic with a woman who embodies that to the very core of her essence. So, in honor of that I kept it REAL & true to us both. Enjoy.

In this interview you will find out,

  • Petra’s journey in becoming a business owner while holding down a job.
  • How work environment doesn’t align with her personality
  • What she discovered by wearing jeans instead of a suit
  • The one time she took a job but it wasn’t quite her thing.
  • Using her strategy of following her heart (in her words, gut) in chosing how she wants to work (or IF she wants to that day), who she wants to work with, etc…
  • That being herself instead of playing a role made her work feel like magic.

More about Petra:

Petra has been featured on local TV and podcasts around the globe https://petrafisher.com/featured-on/

She shares her tips freely through her blog (when she remembers) https://petrafisher.com/blogs

You can also connect with Petra,
Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/linkedintipspetrafisher LinkedIn, https://www.linkedin.com/in/petrafisher
Twitter, https://twitter.com/petrafisher