The other day I was talking with a friend and this is what I said to her,
“Human beings are not finite. We are always evolving.”
I was a little surprised when it came out but then I thought about it. Here’s what I meant.
We all go through times in our lives that we are busy with something inside. Sometimes we may be feeling sad, lonely, lost, or in the process of healing a past hurt. These things take energy and thoughtfulness to sort through for yourself. When someone is in this process they may appear to not be themselves or do and say things that are harmful. They may not be who everyone expects or needs them to be in that moment or phase in life. But let’s say you have time stamped them to always forever be that “way”. You have chosen to keep them in that place. And you’ve decided who they are by assigning this to them and for them. This is called, judgement. And it locks you and that person in a prison of time.
Would if its many years later and they have resolved what was plaguing them inside? How do you see them? Are they still that person you think they are?
I’m sure if you are reading this you can identify on both sides of this situation. When we judge someone for something they did or the way they were we have imprisoned them into a role or deed. And in a way that traps us too. Because who were you in that time? And how is it you were the better one? Maybe you both had to grow through this shared experience no matter who was right or who was wrong. A lesson most definitely emerged for each of you. If you parted ways you will not know where or how that person grew. But would if you could forgive them and understand that these odd injustices we suffer from one another are actually gifts in service to your own personal development. But would if you don’t forgive them? And continue to hold them to that time, vilifying them as being the deed they had done instead of seeing them as they truly are, human beings who are growing and learning and making mistakes.
Are you able to forgive?
Who do you need to release?
How can you find it in your heart to forgive yourself and the other?
AND WHY do I need to do this?
This is a controversial thought and process for sure. A few years ago a woman who survived the Holocaust forgave a man who was a Nazi in the middle of a court room. No one understood why she was doing it nor how she could do it. Her name is Eva Kor and these are her words about forgiveness.
As I did that, I felt a burden of pain was lifted from me. I was no longer in the grip of hate; I was finally free.
Forgiveness is really nothing more than an act of self-healing and self-empowerment. I call it a miracle medicine. It is free, it works and has no side effects.
I believe with every fibre of my being that every human being has the right to live without the pain of the past.
This is not a process that you can force before you are ready. But when you are ready to forgive someone, it may take some effort just as did the thoughts of holding that person there took in the first place. Once you release the energy of judgement & resentment through forgiveness for all (both you and the person), you will see changes rapidly in your life.
I’m borrowing this prayer from Gabrielle Bernstein
that is simple and a good start to freeing you and the other person.
“I choose to see this differently.”
By saying this out loud or softly in your head, you will see a way to forgiveness and take back the power of love that resides in your heart.
One more thing, forgiveness is not about accepting bad behaviour. It is releasing the emotions that tie you to that time. It truly is a gift that comes from the heart. It’s even written in the word: FOR GIVE
And that is a powerful thing.
What do you think about forgiveness?
Who do you need to free?