Why SHOULD is no good in matters of your heart.

I want to talk about something that has been on my mind: The almighty SHOULD.  It is a word that can single-handedly unravel anything your heart wants for you most.  If you could only make that should shut up!  “Shoulds” are tricky.  They go something like this,

  • I should be exercising.
  • I should have done this or that. 
  • I should know this by now.
  • I should call my MOM.

They can be pretty harsh and most often punitive. But let’s flip that script. Look at them through the eyes of love ( ahem, self love that is)!  When you catch yourself in this place of should-ing, stop, think of what’s important in there and throw some love all over that should.  For instance,

  • “I should be exercising.” Could be this: I love to exercise so I’m going to find more time to add it back into my schedule. Now, if you are not a lover of exercise and there is something more going on here, then be honest with yourself.  Are you saying this because you think you should be something you are not?  Can you LOVE how you are now?
  • “I should have done this or that.” Could be: I’m doing a lot right now. Maybe some things need to be adjusted so I can make room for those things that are important to me.  Here there are many ways to examine this one.  But if it comes down too much and things are slipping at the way side then maybe it’s time to figure out what you can get help with and what is truly your responsibility.  Find the love, not the fault.
  • “I should know this by now.” Could be:  I am growing in new ways and learning a lot.  I will make sure to give myself a lot of self-care and love while I’m growing in this new way.
  • “I should call my MOM.” Could be:  I’m going to call my Mom right now. OR, It’s been some time and I would like to talk to my Mom. Ok, I am going to be REAL here with you on this one. Mom’s and daughter relationships can be a complicated matter. So take this one with a bit of ease and levity.  There may need to be MORE LOVE added than this.  <3

Hopefully, you realize by some of these examples that self love is about being compassionate to yourself and not punishing.  Should comes from the place of saying, “You are not good enough and you need to be worker harder.” Well, WHO SAYS!  Your negative self talking Saboteur does. And if you remember, I told ya what that was all about over here.

I believe anyone can get to the bottom of a should. All it takes is the commitment to want out of it, focused intention and patience with yourself. Once you begin you will clear the way and then all you will hear is your heart.  

I need HELP with the shoulds!

Does this SHOULD game sound a bit too hard to go it on your own?  Maybe you need to just get started with your own should’s and then be set free to unravel their tricky tales.  Well, I’m hear to help whisper to you what your heart wants you to know and coach you on how to hear it more.  Grab some time with me for 45 minutes and let’s get beyond that should once and for all! 

How cleaning out your drawers is a practice in self-love?

Have you felt this way?  That itch to simplify your life by shedding things that you no longer need or want. Have you also been cleaning out your drawers lately?

That has been my experience recently. Usually when I feel this way I know that I am preparing for something more to enter into my life. I’m not totally aware of that at the time, by the way.  I just answer that call of “I gotta get this stuff out of my house. OR I’m gonna go crazy!” You know what I mean. I go through everything (husband & kid’s too) in the house and ask myself,

Is this necessary to keep? 

I load up bags and bags full of items that maybe someone else could use and place it by the door.  It usually takes months to make it from the bag- to the car -to the recycle center. But in my mind, it’s “organized” as on it’s way out! After finishing the tedious task of putting items in bags,  I look for other places that are FULL of unnecessary stuff and/or actions that are simply just a waste of my time & energy. Let’s take social media for instance.  That time wasting activity of scrolling on Facebook scanning and NOT reading anyone’s updates for what seems like HOURS.  Or god how I love it ..Pinterest! Same issue but more like “look at all those things I wish I could have!”   The shiny object syndrome at it’s best. 😉   And, I am a little embarrassed to admit this, sometimes I go on a YouTube binge-watching thinking “Oh it’s only one clip of James Cordon singing in his car with (fill in a famous singer you love).”  And of course the ever-addicting NETFLIX-a-thon that occurs more often then I care to mention. Hey, they put out good stuff! Educational even! Am I right?

I often do this around this time of year.  It probably is rooted in ancestry, or has to do with the weather and most definitely is matching the seasonal change. You know, because the leaves are falling. It’s natural to want to shed with them.  Whatever the case may be, it always feels good to drop things that are NO good for me any longer. 

This is self-love. Why? Because when you go through your house & life in order to de-clutter all the things that are hanging around taking space (and energy-stagnant as it may be) what you are symbolically saying is, “I’m finished and completed with this thing or that situation.  Now I’m ready for the next thing.” This is a ritual of letting go and it signals to the Universe that you are ready for something new and are willing to make the necessary changes to make room and allow for more of what you do want IN.  Who can’t get excited about that!  So… 

 So Have you cleaned out your drawers lately?  Dumped any old videos & files out of your caché?  What have you shed recently in your life?

Ready to SHED more with a coach? Let's talk about what's hanging around.

 Take advantage of this totally complimentary 45-minute sample session so we can CLEAN out the old stinkin’ thinkin’ and get you on the path of allowing more into your life today.

Episode #8: Ana Tabain: Daring to be different led me to living my life of purpose.

Ana Tabain always knew she wanted to be a teacher.  She dared to move to a city on the other side of her home country, then to the UK, and to the Netherlands following her heart for a better way of living.  Against all evidence of having a life that most wanted, she and her partner constantly question the status quo.  Living life with purpose includes being daring and finding what works well for them in the time and place they are living.

“I’m not going to wait for things to manifest in my life.  I’m going to get them.”

Ana’s life is a marvel of adventure based on her willing to ask and daring to be different from what she was raised to be.  Listen to her amazing story of how she is continuously guided.
You can find out more about Ana Tabain and her work here:
For daily inspiration on holistic living follow Ana on Instagram @ancientwisdom_for_modernliving

Do you want to be GUIDED too? Wanna know how to get started?

If you are longing to start living a life that is guided  by following your heart, then you’ve come to the RIGHT place! The first step in beginning to develop a connection is to get still and listen, on a daily basis.  YEP I’m gonna say it. That means, meditation! 

What’s that you say?  You don’t know “how” to meditate.

No PROBLEM! In the Full Heart Meditation online program, I guide you through a visualization to help connect you back to YOU and your heart and allow for a few minutes of quiet so you can “hear” your answers.

Find out more about by clicking on the button & get started TODAY!

Get what matters most to YOUR heart without spending loads of time & money!

Are you feeling like it may be time to get started on something that your HEART longs for but you just are not sure where to start?


  • You don’t have lots of TIME
  • OR LOADS of cash/money
  • You are not ready to start with a coach
  • You want to preview anything before you do purchase and,
  • You want to have the choice of doing it in the privacy of your own home and not in front of stranger(S) or join any groups


You’ve come to the RIGHT place because…

Every Tuesday at 8:00 P.M. Central European Time (use www.timeanddate.com for your time zone), you can join me on a Facebook LIVE where I talk about the fully downloadable, online Full Heart Meditation program.  A program designed for the woman who doesn’t have a lot of time or resources to get started with a coach, who wants to take things at her own pace, and is READY to start moving towards her DREAMS!

A new topic each week right out of the online course!

October 16 – Career

October 23 – Friends & Family

October 30 – Significant Other &  Romance

November 6  – Fun & Recreation

November  13- Health

November 20- Money

November 27 – Personal Growth & Development

December 4 – Physical Environment

December 11 – Lifestyle

Oh and did I mention each LIVE is only 20 minutes of your time?  I realize we have lots going on.  For most of us, night time is when we like to decompress.  So with that in mind,  I take 10 minutes, roughly, to talk about the topic of that day and the other 10 are just for YOU and your questions or thoughts AND ideas. ANYTHING can happen when we open the door to our hearts.

So….are you ready to join me every week?

LIKE my Facebook page (on the Facebook button) and get informed ahead of time for the next LIVE.  🙂

Feeling Triggered? This video can help!

When we are triggered it means there is an old story at play. This is a great time to take stock on your life and discover what caused a reaction in you. It takes awareness, slowing down and NOT reacting to that person or situation.  Which is hard when you are triggered!  When you do take time more often you will begin to understand that the trigger shines light on somewhere in your life where you are rigid.  You know, stuck in your perception on a topic. Once you know what it is then you can heal it by changing your response to it.
You are probably thinking…uh but, that seems to be hard to figure out on your own?
You are right, it can be hard on your own.
GOOD NEWS! I am offering a weekly Facebook LIVE on Tuesdays to help uncover these hidden triggers and tap into your heart space more.  Each week a new life area.  All of this is based on my online program, Full Heart Meditation.
The LIVE show STARTS tonight with CAREER as our first topic.  I know that use to be a BIG trigger for me!
Ready to tackle this one? Click below on the button to get your reminder.

Now take a peak at this video!


Created by VideoShow:http://videoshowapp.com/free

Come JOIN the Facebook LIVE tonight!

Need more help? Join my Facebook LIVE tonight, and for the next 9 weeks, to learn how the heart can answer some of these hidden triggers!
Starts TONIGHT @ 8PM CET/Amsterdam time. CHECK your time zone here: www.timeanddate.com

Click on the pinned post to get your Reminder!